This is simple – not easy.
“Ninety percent of all the problems in the world are caused by misunderstanding.”
I addition to the techniques I have blogged about for being a better listener – there is an attitude that will help you: Assume good intent.
People do usually NOT want to be bad, wrong or out to get you. When someone butts up against you and you get triggered by what they say or do – ask yourself what’s happening in you and listen to them.
There are a number of reasons why people behave in a way that triggers me and makes me impatient, angry, irritated etc:
- I know for a fact that they have a different Frame of Reference so they see the world (slightly or completely) differently than I do
- They don’t feel like they are listened to
- They have a different opinion on the matter, and they don’t have a way of presenting it that serves the group
- They are triggered themselves by something I have said
- They have a lot of passion for the subject but it comes out in a negative way
- ... or a number of other reasons...
So the leadership you can show is to listen to understand.
Simple – not easy.